Karaoke

Karoke isn't for me, it's for others to get a glimpse of the world I'm lucky enough to live in every day!

One of my Facebook friends posted this morning about Karaoke that, "I stink at it but it was a lot of fun." And that's what it's really all about. I once took a class in college called "Acting for Non-Majors," which gave me a glimpse of how much fun real actors must have. Similarly, Karaoke is very much "Singing for Non-Singers."

I read someplace that the word "Karaoke," translated from the Japanese, means "Tone Deaf."  How fitting! When someone is up there with a few drinks in them, singing really badly but giving it all they've got, that's what Karoke is all about. They're embracing the Joy of Music; something I get to experience every day.

Sometimes I'll be someplace where there's Karaoke and I'll sing, but in some ways I'll always feel like an interloper. My wife Terri (who is a fantastic, accomplished singer) won't even get up, sneering, "Divas don't DO Karaoke!" But while she may give the impression that it's beneath her, the truth is that Karaoke has a completely different set of rules than the ones that apply to us as working musicians. That is, how well you sing is not the main criteria.

Rule # 1: Know the Hierarchy

Regardless of your skill level as a singer, there is a certain hierearchy in Karaoke that you should be aware of: 

• Being a good singer doesn't necessarily mean you'll get over! Karaoke is at its best when someone is really drunk and singing really, really badly but giving it all they've got as if they were really good.
• A bad singer with a good song trumps a good singer with a mediocre song.
• Good-looking generally trumps good singing. For example, a group of attractive college girls singing in a pack will always wow 'em, no matter how bad/drunk they are.  Same with attractive women, especially if they're wearing something sexy. This principle works to a much lesser degree for handsome men, unless you're in a gay bar.
• Kids always get a "free pass."

 Rule #2: Song Selection is Key!

The worst thing you can do in Karaoke is dig up some obscure song that nobody knows.I t's always best to go with the "big tunes" everybody knows. Stay with the hits - you want to sing a big "up tune" to get the crowd going or a big ballad to bring a tear to their eyes.  If it's something people can sing along with, so much the better. Remember, Karaoke is essentially a communal experience. It also helps if you can figure out which songs are best suited to your voice. Give yourself a chance to succeed. 

Rule #3: Know Your Audience

You have to understand who's listening. For example, your version of "The Way We Were" might kill in your local gay bar but not get over so well at, say, Fridays. Coversely, your "Pour Some Sugar On Me" that wows them in your local pub might not get over so well in some fern bar in the Hamptons. And please, rein in the risque tunes in places like Disney or other family resorts.

Rule #4: Be Aware of the Time

This is a very simple rule. Up tunes early, ballads late. "Get This Party Started" works great during Happy Hour, but you don't want to be singing it at Last Call. People are partied out; some are crying in their beers over the troubles they can't drink away. "Closing Time" or "Quarter to Three" are always good at the end of the night.

Rule #5: Work the Room

Regardless of your singng ability, the audience responds to the way you engage the room. If you look at your shoes people won't respond and will ignore you. Look around the room, make eye contact with people on either side of the room and in the center. Confidence is a huge key to Karaoke. Carry yourself as if you have something to offer. Sell the song. Sell yourself.

I'm a guy who sings every day of his life, always trying to get better.  The kind of guy who puts "Al Green's Greatest Hits," Michael McDonald's "Motown" or Luther  Vandross' "Dance With My Father" on in the car for a week, trying to study their vocal styles. I almost always do well at Karaoke, but it's because I understand the unwritten rules of the game. Sometimes the place where I'm singing Karaoke happens to have a contest going and I've been offered prizes, but I never take them. I'll say something like, "I lost my amateur status a long time ago." At the end of the day, Karaoke is not for me - it's for others to get a glimpse of the world I get to live in every day.